'I overcame....' Story: 0-CLAM-0

This is a new journal idea that just came to me when one of our members, 0-CLAM-0 messaged me she wanted to share her story on how she stopped cutting.

Let's try something new. Let's express how we overcame something. Be it just not hurting yourself for one day, one week, one month, one year. That you didn't let someone else's words get to you. That you overcame the cruelty this world has to offer. It doesn't have to be big, it can be anything because you overcame it.

THE STORIES WILL HAVE TRIGGERS so if you don't want to read it, you don't have to. BUT, they also have hope and something to offer each of you otherwise we won't post them.


So once a month, perhaps every other week, or whenever one of you wants to express yourself, message one of our admins, tell us your story and we'll share it with everyone else. This group has been a bit quiet lately, I am to blame as well, but let's stir things up.

If you have any ideas at all, if you want to say anything at all. Just message us. It may take a day or two to reply, but we'll always reply.


Here's 0-CLAM-0's story in her own words:



It's been about... 11 weeks since I've stopped, but any
cutter would know that that's an achievement.

Story may have triggers...

I started when I was 10, because I thought it was 'cool'.
(Yes. I know that was dumb. Shut up. Seriously.) And then
that got worse when I found out my parents were getting
divorced. My depression that I was suffering from got worse,
and the bullying and moving to PA didn't help. I was very
hateful. I remember some kids telling me that when we
first met I told them to go die. o_o;

When we moved out of my grandparent's house, which we
staying at till my mom could get a job, my cutting habit was
started again. I had stop cutting in my grandparent's house,
because I didn't want to get blood anywhere.

In 7th grade, I had a friend who also was a cutting. She cut
with razors, so she bled more. One night she was talking to
me while cutting over the computer, and I got really scared,
so I called a cutting hotline. I was terrified. The lady asked to
talk to my friend, so I gave her her number and she called my
friend. The lady was very nice and told my friend to talk to the
councilor at school the next day.

So, the next day my friend asked me to come with her. I told the
councilor we both we cutters. He called our parents, and we both
ended up at the same hospital.

My cutting got worse after the hospital stay. I started to use razors.
I was hospital free for six months, but my arm collected many scars.
Then, New Years Eve, 8th grade, I had my first suicide attempt. Well
My mom had come in before I swallowed the pills, but still I was
taken to the hospital. I stayed for 2 weeks. Then in March I went again,
except this time to a different hospital. I stayed 2 weeks there as well.

When I left, I thought I was good, that I could really stop cutting. 2
weeks later I had a unpleasant cyber-bullying incident. I had
started to cut again. I truly thought I'd never stop. I had voices
that I believed would take over and make me cut. It was terrible.
A week before Easter I went into the hospital but my mom signed me
out because I was to go to my dad's which she believed would be
than staying in that shitty hospital.

We moved to Indiana that summer. I wanted out of PA, I didn't think
I could stand living there. I would miss my best friend ,
but I needed out of that place.

My cutting continued till Halloween. For a long time, I had been wanting
to initiate myself in Wicca, and on Halloween night I had a little self-initiating
ceremony in my room. I prayed to my God and Goddess to help me
stop, and well, the only other time I ever cut the week after that. I
don't want to push religion onto anyone, but it helps if you truly believe.
It helped me. I've also been in therapy for most of these years, and I
still am. I know many people like to deny that meds help too, but
I've been on Effexor and Seroquel for a long time and I haven't been
depressed. Cutting, mental illness... it doesn't go away over night.
It takes time and patience. It's worth the waiting though.


adevilsdare and the SelfInjuryAware staff